"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"
"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead --"
"Not Harry! Please... have mercy... have mercy....
"Not Harry! Not Harry! please -- I'll do anything!"
And the following are Dumbledore's words while drinking the potion in the cave, in "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince":
"I don't want. . . Don't make me ..."
". . . don't like . . . want to stop . . ."
"No ..." "I don't want to. ... I don't want to. . . . Let me go. . . ."
"Make it stop, make it stop," moaned Dumbledore.
"No, no, no, no, I can't, I can't, don't make me, I don't want to. . . ."
"Its all my fault, all my fault,"
"Please make it stop, I know I did wrong, oh please make it stop and I'll never, never again ..."
"Don't hurt them, don't hurt them, please, please, its my fault, hurt me instead ..."
"Please, please, please, no ... not that, not that, I'll do anything ..."
"No more, please, no more ..."
"I want to die! I want to die! Make it stop, make it stop, I want to die!"
A few hours after I finished reading "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince", when I was still in shock, and while I was re-reading the chapter "The Cave", and in particular Dumbledore drinking that evil potion, a theory came to me. I got very excited and for a moment I thought I had made a big discovery. Later I found many reasons why it is a crazy theory, but anyhow, the similarities between these two passages still make my head spin. What if Dumbledore's death has created a protection for "them", as in "don't hurt them". How about it if "them" is his students? My theory got more complicated as I imagined Severus helping both Lily and Dumbledore (it is a potion, isn't it?)... anyway...
It's amazing how the events surrounding Dumbledore's death can be interpreted in so many different ways! And I don't know what to believe any more. All I know is that I will be really afraid to read the seventh book. If the events of HBP were to be taken at face value, that is, if Dumbledore is truly dead, or if his death didn't serve any purpose (no protection for his students for example), or if Severus Snape was a true Death Eater all along, I will be so incredibly disappointed...
I read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince as soon as it came out, during the weekend. I had considered postponing the reading until my holidays in August, but in the end I was unable to restrain my curiosity. I think one reason why I like these books so much is that the story is not finished and each book leaves you with a greater and greater desire to know what is going to happen next. The mystery is only increasing with each book. Of course some questions are getting answers; I still remember that my first big question when I read "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" about four years ago was why Voldemort wanted to kill Harry in the first place. The only one of my friends who had read the books, the one who actually introduced me to Harry Potter, thought there was no mystery and Voldemort was just evil and had wanted to kill Harry's family and also Harry only "to properly finish the job". I knew there had to be something else. The emphasis was, from that first book, on how Voldemort wanted to kill Harry in particular. And I was proven right. Of course I was extremely disappointed that the answer to that riddle was a classic prophecy... but the point is that there was a mystery. Now, after six books, I feel even more curiosity than ever!
More than a week after I finished the book I still can't stop thinking about it. The big question that is still not answered is of course Severus Snape. A superficial reading of HBP, the interpretation of the events in the book by someone who is not a true fan of the series, would be, I expect, to condemn Severus Snape as a traitor and a true follower of Voldemort. What else do you need to prove that someone is evil than to kill Dumbledore? However, I don't buy that interpretation for an instant.
Severus Snape: villain or hero? I am surprised at how important the answer to this question is for me. I will be sorely disappointed if I am reading too much into the books and Snape ends up being a two-dimensional villain. We already have Tom Riddle for that! And I am even more surprised at how important the question of loyalty is for me... Anyway, I will try to collect all the reasons why I still trust Severus Snape in a separate entry.
Another big question is how Harry can possibly defeat Voldemort. How can he even destroy the horcruxes?? Imagine that the rest of them are as well protected as the one in the cave was. Harry on his own would never have even managed to get inside the cave; he cannot understand how Dumbledore can figure out how to find the entrance, how to know blood was needed, how to find the boat... I am totally puzzled as to how he will manage to find and destroy the rest of the Horcruxes.
Ok, so I haven't written a single word in this journal since I created it... I'm a lurker; I have used it mainly to friend others and read their interesting journals. I guess I should start giving something back to them.
Anyway, I just uploaded a picture from the film "Howl's moving castle" by Hayao Miyazaki. The main character reminded me very much of Draco in fandom (see my bright new userpicture). There was a moment in the film when his hair is dyed black by mistake and he gets very upset. I was laughing so hard... of course I couldn't explain to my friends (not-harry-potter-fanfiction-followers) what was so funny about it!
Ok, I will stop writing for now, I still find this thing of writing a journal in the internet very strange...